Easter

From Henri Nouwen:

Easter season is a time of hope. There still is fear, there still is a painful awareness of sinfulness, but there also is light breaking through. Something new is happening, something that goes beyond the changing moods of our life. We can be joyful or sad, optimistic or pessimistic, tranquil or angry, but the solid stream of God's presence moves deeper than the small waves of our minds and hearts.

Easter brings the awareness that God is present even when his presence is not directly noticed.

Easter brings the good news that, although things seem to get worse in the world, the Evil One has already been overcome.

Easter allows us to affirm that although God seems very distant and although we remain preoccupied with many little things, our Lord walks with us on the road and keeps explaining the Scriptures to us. Thus there are many rays of hope casting their light on our way through life.

Thank you Henri for guiding me through this season and bringing me home.

Day 40 - Holy Saturday

Today is the day in-between,
the day after death,
the day before life.
A day of silence.
A day of solitude.

On the seventh day of the week of our redemption, when Jesus had fulfilled all he was sent by his Father to do, he rested in the tomb, and the women whose hearts were broken with grief rested with him. Of all the days in history, Holy Saturday is the day of God's solitude. It is the day on which the whole creation waits in deep inner rest. It is the day on which no words are spoken, no proclamations made. The Word of God through whom all had been made lay buried in the darkness of the earth.

This Holy Saturday is the most quiet of all days.
Its quiet connects the first covenant with the second,
the people of Israel with the not-yet-knowing world,
the Temple with the new worship in the Spirit,
the sacrifices of blood with the sacrifice of bread and wine,
the Law with the Gospel.

This divine silence is the most fruitful silence that the world has ever known. From this silence, the Word will be spoken again and make all things new.

- Henri Nouwen, Walk with Jesus

Day 39 - Good Friday

I didn't have as much luck tonight trying to find out why this day is referred to as "Good" Friday. Certainly, some 2,000 years ago, this was not considered a "good" day by those who had given up everything to follow Jesus. It must have been one of the worst day of their lives. There was nothing "good" about it. All they knew was that he was dead.

They must have thought it was over, that whatever they had seen with their own eyes had come to an end. Jesus was dead on a cross.

He was dead. Gone.

What now?

What about tomorrow? Do they return to their families? Do they pick up the pieces and go back to their old lives? Was it all a sham? How could this happen? What about everything he had done? What about everything he had said? He can't be gone...

What now?

Can you imagine how dark and hopeless that day must have seemed?

Empty.
Cold.
Sick.
Defeated.
Lost.

What would you do? What would I do?

He's gone...

Day 38 - Maundy Thursday

I've seen on calendars and heard this day called "Maundy Thursday" but never really knew what "Maundy" was. So, tonight, I looked it up on Wikipedia:

The word Maundy is derived through Middle English, and Old French mandé, from the Latin mandatum, the first word of the phrase "Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos" ("A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you"), the statement by Jesus in the Gospel of John (13:34) by which Jesus explained to the Apostles the significance of his action of washing their feet.

Not only does this day mark the washing of the disciples' feet by Jesus, it also marks the Last Supper. Jesus shared one final meal with his closest followers and thus began one of the most sacred of all practices - the Eucharist. This sacrament is central to many faith traditions and has been celebrated by millions of Christ followers through the generations. "Do this in remembrance of me," Jesus said.

And so tonight, I remember that last night spent in community with his friends. I remember his demonstration of servanthood. I remember his command to love each other. I remember his betrayal. I remember his painful cries to his Father from the garden. I remember his arrest. I remember Peter denying him. And I begin to think about the unthinkable - the agonizing pain awaiting him the next day and the unbelievable love awaiting us forever.

Nouwen writes this in today's reading from Show Me the Way:

Jesus calls us to continue his mission of revealing the perfect love of God in this world. He calls us to total self-giving. He does not want us to keep anything for ourselves. Rather, he wants our love to be as full, as radical, and as complete as his own. He wants us to bend ourselves to the ground and touch the places in each other that most need washing. He also wants us to say to each other, "Eat of me and drink of me." By this complete mutual nurturing, he wants us to become one body and one spirit, united by the love of God.

United in one body and one spirit by the love of God...

Day 36

We had such a nice, relaxing weekend in Pinetop! We slept, ate, went for walks, played tennis, played games, watched movies, read, and just watched the snow fall on Sunday. Ahhh...

I can't believe this is the last week of Lent. The second half has certainly gone faster than the first half. Based on our conversation at our last small group meeting, I picked up a copy of Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth and started reading it this weekend. He certainly has an interesting perspective on things. I'm not sure I agree with him on a lot of what he's saying, but I'll wait until I finish it before I say much more.

I also finished reading Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. I didn't like it as much as Blue Like Jazz, but I love his writing style. It's very engaging and I had a hard time putting it down. I have to try to get it some "light" reading before quarter 3 of Greek begins on April 1! But I don't want to think about that yet...

Day 32 - back home again (for a day)

The trip to Albuquerque was a better trip, although I'm not sure the outcome of our meetings was any better. (Well, maybe a little) But, I'm back home now and getting ready to go to Pinetop tomorrow afternoon - after I take my Greek final in the morning.

One of the Nouwen readings while I was gone this week really hit that missional part of me (again!). Here is what he writes about us being like Jesus and being in the world:

To be lifted up into the divine life of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit does not mean, however, to be taken out of the world. On the contrary, those who have entered into the spiritual life are precisely the ones who are sent into the world to continue and fulfill the work that Jesus began. The spiritual life does not remove us from the world but leads us deeper into it.

Life in the Spirit of Jesus is therefore a life in which Jesus' coming into the world - his incarnation, his death, and resurrection - is lived out by those who have entered into the same obedient relationship to the Father which marked Jesus' own life. Having become sons and daughters as Jesus was Son, our lives become a continuation of Jesus' mission.

Day 30

Today I leave for Albuquerque for a couple of days for work, and (gasp), I'm not taking my laptop. I know, I know, that's close to the edge, but I decided I could get in whatever study time I needed without it, and basically I didn't want to lug it around for this trip. Our day-long meeting tomorrow is a wildcard at this point, given the miserable meeting last week in DC. But, we have a recommendation for dinner, so maybe it won't be all bad. I hope to be able to get in a fair amount of Greek study, so I can take my final exam on Friday morning before we head to Pinetop for a long weekend. Well, either way, I'm taking the final on Friday - I just hope I'm ready by then...

Day 29

I've been thinking a lot lately about the relevancy of the church in our culture today. Our ever dwindling Sunday morning attendance (not only in my community, but in most others I know of) continues to gnaw at my "relevant" nerve. At our small group meeting last night, we talked about the newest Oprah book club best seller, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. Oprah and Tolle are doing a weekly webcast on Monday nights as well, and last week there was something like 500,000 people online for the webcast. Is this just good marketing? Is it that Oprah has her name associated with it?

I think it's interesting (coincidental, maybe??) that the latest best-selling "Christian" book was Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life. Are both of these huge sellers satisfying some craving in our society for purpose? Are there that many people struggling to find a deeper meaning to life, wanting to be a part of something bigger than themselves, wanting to be happy? And how has the church so badly missed this mark? Do people even consider seeking God for an answer to their cravings? If so, are they doing it on their own, with no "need" to find a church.

Have we really missed the point that badly of what it means to be the church? I read an interesting blog post on this subject earlier today, appropriately titled "So What?" I think Mark is onto something there. As the church, we must find ways to help people right where they are with the problems and issues they face right now. That doesn't mean designing a ministry "program" with five key points that lead to a happier marriage. I think it means sitting with people, listening to people, helping each one individually walk through their valleys and come out on the other side. This is how Jesus interacted with people. He didn't offer a generalized, "one-size-fits-all" approach. His approach was relational and compassionate. "What do you want me to do for you?" was his common question. Not, "Have we got a fantastic new opportunity for you!" People don't need something else to do or some other event to attend or some other activity to put their kids in. People need compassion. People need relationships. People need hope. Isn't this what the church should be doing?

Fifth Sunday in Lent - Passion Sunday

So what about after Easter?

The first Easter morning marked a significant point in history. From that point on, there would always be a "before" and an "after." So what does that mean for us today? Is there a "before" and an "after" for us? Is Easter just another Sunday in the midst of an already overbooked and overstressed culture? Even as Christians, do we mark the significance of the day with a "before" and an "after?"

Before Easter 2008, I was ________ and after Easter 2008 I will __________.

What do you put in those blanks? Is it a day of recommitment? Is it a day to remember? Is it a day for new beginnings? Is it a day, like New Year's Day, that marks the end of something old and the beginning of something new? I'm reminded of something I read from Nouwen during this past season of Advent:

People who wait have received a promise that allows them to wait. They have received something that is at work in them, like a seed that has started to grow. This is very important. We can really wait only if what we are waiting for has already begun in us. So waiting is never a movement from nothing to something. It is always a movement from something to something more...

So what about after Easter?

Day 28

With only two more weeks before Easter, I'm trying to be more intentional in my reflecting on this season of Lent. I came into Lent feeling somewhat down and struggling with my decision to step away from my staff role at church. But, I'm feeling now like I will come out of this time feeling better. For one thing, I have stayed pretty faithful on my low-carb food consumption. Therefore, if nothing else, I am feeling better physically. I have not dropped a bunch of pounds, but my belt is one notch tighter and I'm not as hungry all the time. I've also been stretched mentally by Greek, but I am finding myself enjoying that very much. I still feel really good about my decision as well - that it was the right decision. Tomorrow will be my first official Sunday away from my old role, and the first Sunday in who knows how long that all four of us will go together in one car, arriving just a few minutes before the service starts.

Yeah, a lot has happened in the past four weeks. I look forward to seeing what is headed my way in the next two weeks...

Day 26 - in Washington, DC

Well our meeting today could have been better. In fact, it could have been a lot better. We're all pretty frustrated and down. Plus, we just saw where Dallas is expecting 2-4" of snow tonight. And guess where we're headed at 6:00am tomorrow? Yeah. So, who knows when I'll get home. The phrase "adding insult to injury" comes to mind. Oh well. At least I can study while we wait...

Day 25 - in Washington, DC

My trip to DC today was easy and uneventful, exactly the way air travel should be! In fact, I had a very nice and interesting conversation with the person sitting next to me from Tucson to Dallas. She noticed my Greek study notes and asked what I was studying. After telling her, I discovered that she is a linguistics professor at UofA! I told her about studying Greek and what I hoped that would do for me in the future. She grew up in Mexico, and confessed she knew little about "religion" outside of Catholicism in Mexico. So I explained a little and maybe helped her see that God works in many different ways and in many different situations. It was cool. I'm glad I didn't miss that moment of talking with her by being too busy. Maybe, just maybe, she got a little of glimpse of God shining through me.

Tomorrow is the big meeting, so I had better get some sleep now...

Day 24 - Frenzy

Life has gotten a little frenzied in the last day or two. Due to a mild but growing disaster at work, I'm getting on a plane tomorrow for Washington, DC and will return home on Friday. Then next week, I go to Albuquerque on Tuesday and come home Wednesday. And tonight, Dane will give us our take-home Greek final that's due back to him next Friday. But after that will ne a nice long weekend in Pinetop with just the four of us...ahhh...

Hmmm...I will need to pay special attention to the ordinary moments in the next week or so, or they will be very easy to miss...

Fourth Sunday in Lent

How hard it is for me to spend time in solitude. By solitude, I mean spending time where I am alone, quiet, without interruption, and still in my soul. It's time when I do not feel rushed, when I do not feel like there is something more pressing that I should be doing, when I can truly relax and just be in the presence of God. That's hard, but necessary. In the times when I can do this, usually nothing spectacular happens, but it refreshes me. I feel rested. I feel centered. I feel better.

Here is what Nouwen has to say about solitude today:

Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude, we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self. Jesus himself entered into this furnace. There he was tempted with the three compulsions of the world: to be relevant ("turn stones into loaves"), to be spectacular ("throw yourself down"), and to be powerful ("I will give you all these kingdoms"). There he affirmed God as the only source of his identify ("You must worship the Lord your God and serve him alone"). Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter - the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self.

Day 22

I missed posting yesterday, but it was a good day. I studied at Starbucks for a while in the morning, met my wife for lunch, then studied some more while my car got a thorough cleaning at the local car wash. My daughter performed in her school's talent show last night, and of course, she was wonderful, singing a cappella with three friends.

Today, I have been immersed in Greek as well. Our final next week is going to be tough, so I'm trying to crack down. So, even though it's about 75 outside and absolutely beautiful, here I sit at the dining room table making flash cards and trying to understand the meanings behind aorist passive forms. Yeah, I know, I'm just whining. I'm actually really liking Greek now, and with the windows open, I can still feel the air and listen to the palms and wind chimes sing in the breeze. Later tonight, I'm meeting a classmate at the UofA library to study some more. Hmmm...there is a Starbucks nearby...

Day 20 - really

Remember when I wrote a class paper last summer about the three voices of a leader? As that paper progressed, my conclusion was essentially this: instead of a leader trying his/her best to "walk-the-talk" - actions following words - why not turn that around and "talk-the-walk?" Here is what I wrote:

Saint Francis of Assisi is quoted as saying, “Preach the gospel at all times – if necessary, use words.” This is a great perspective for us to maintain as leaders. More than that, I believe something quite significant is present in these ten simple words for how we view leadership. Most of the material written on the subject of consistency between words and actions views the topic in that order: actions should match words. However, I suggest that we view this relationship in reverse. Instead of attempting to match our actions to our words, we should ensure that our words match our actions. Put another way, we should first decide how we should act as leaders, and then merely speak about those actions. The difference is subtle but filled with possibility! If we approach leadership from this perspective, we very well may find that we have much less to say with our mouths, providing us with a greater ability to listen and discern what is happening around us. If we decide how we should act in different situations and then let our words be reflections of those actions, I believe much of the inconsistency that we now face will disappear. Viewing leadership from this perspective will require much more internal discipline, but I believe this approach would raise the effectiveness of every leader today.

This was a powerful revelation for me at the time, and I was struck again by Nouwen's writing from yesterday:

In Jesus no division existed between his words and his actions, between what he said and what he did. Jesus' words were his actions, his words were events. They not only spoke about changes, cures, new life, but they actually created them. In this sense, Jesus is truly the Word made flesh; in that Word all is created and by that Word all is recreated.

Saintliness means living without division between word and action. If I would truly live in my own life the word I am speaking, my spoken words would become actions, and miracles would happen whenever I opened my mouth.

Boy do I feel stupid

Remember how I said that Lent was not part of my faith tradition growing up? Yeah, well, somebody out there in blog reading land should have caught this and corrected me!

When counting the 40 days of Lent leading up to Easter, one does not count the Sundays!

oops

So, today is not really Day 22 - it's only Day 19!
(no wonder getting half-way through seemed so fast!)

Live and learn, right?

(heavy sigh)

Day 22 - The Decision

Last Thursday, I wrote about coming to some resolution regarding the decision that I have been contemplating for several months now. The decision was whether or not to remain on staff at my church. Kevin and I had a really good talk on Friday morning, and Dave and I spoke this morning which was really good as well. So, after speaking with them and my tech team, I sent the following message tonight to the rest of the staff:

I wanted to let you all know that I have decided to take a break from my staff role at aldea for an indefinite period of time. I have been working in the tech booth since we moved into the building, and really need to step away for a while and rest.

I plan to continue to support the development of the aldea website, and the current tech team will assume some of my other responsibilities. This Sunday, March 2, will be my last Sunday in the tech booth, but I will support them as much as they need through this transition.

As our community continues to evolve and develop over the coming months, something new may emerge which would offer me an opportunity to return to the staff. In the meantime, I look forward to continuing to be part of the aldea community.

As each day passes, I feel better and better about having made the right decision. And, I am beginning to sense a growing anticipation for what God has in mind for me next. But for now, I am at peace and looking forward to simply resting...

Day 21

So Lent is already half over. Wow. It's gone fast so far. I'm really enjoying reading through Show Me the Way each day - as you can probably tell by my abundance of Nouwen quotes.

Speaking of Nouwen quotes, here's a prayer from yesterday's reading which struck the missional chord in me:

Lord, I pray for all who witness for you in this world:
ministers, priests, and bishops,
men and women who have dedicated their lives to you,
and all those who try to bring the light of the Gospel
into the darkness of this age.

Give them courage, strength, perseverance, and hope,
fill their hearts and minds
with the knowledge of your presence,
and let them experience your name
as their refuge from all dangers.

Most of all, give them the joy of your Spirit,
so that wherever they go and whomever they meet
they will remove the veil
of depression, fatalism, and defeatism
and will bring new life to the many
who live in constant fear of death.

Lord, be with all who bring the Good News.
Amen.

Day 19 - Third Sunday in Lent

I missed an entry for yesterday, but here's part of yesterday's reading from Nouwen:

Jesus came to open my ears to another voice that says,

"I am your God.
I have molded you with my own hands,
and I love what I have made.

I love you with a love that has no limits,
because I love you as I am loved.

Do not run away from me.
Come back to me - not once, not twice, but always again.

You are my child.
How can you ever doubt that I will embrace you again,
hold you against my breast,
kiss you and let my hands run through your hair?

I am your God -
the God of mercy and compassion,
the God of pardon and love,
the God of tenderness and care.

Please do not say that I have given up on you,
that I cannot stand you any more,
that there is no way back.

It is not true.

I so much want you to be with me.
I so much want you to be close to me.
I know all your thoughts.
I hear all your words.
I see all your actions.
And I love you because you are beautiful,
made in my own image,
an expression of my most intimate love.

Do not judge yourself.
Do not condemn yourself.
Do not reject yourself.

Let my love touch the deepest, most hidden corners of your heart
and reveal to you your own beauty,
a beauty that you have lost sight of,
but which will become visible to you again in the light of my mercy.

Come, come, let me wipe your tears,
and let my mouth come close to your ear and say to you,
'I love you, I love you, I love you.'"