My head is a mess

I've been a little nostalgic over the past few days with a swirl of thoughts tumbling in my head. I'm not being overly wishful for "the good ole days" - just watching more than a few things coming to an end. I'm realizing more and more each day that my kids are not kids anymore. How did this happen? My son is driving, for goodness sake! And, he's driving really well! My daughter continues to "mature" physically, even though she's not emotionally ready for all that comes with that. And I just grounded her for the rest of the school year and took her cell phone away indefinitely because of a very serious lie she told her mother today. I remember when a 10-minute timeout in the corner was punishment enough. Not anymore...

Last Friday night about 10:00pm, I sat in the car in our church parking lot waiting for my son to come back from a wild night of dodgeball at another church. As I sat there in the dark with John Mayer singing in the background, I was overcome with memories and flashbacks from the past 10 years in that church.

I remembered many of the friends we've made, and many of the people who have left. I remembered when we built our worship center - debt free. I remembered when cars would drive in on Sunday mornings and then drive out because they couldn't find a parking place. I remembered when we had enough students where we could have hosted our own wild dodgeball party. I remembered the first Sunday we went, and the first couple we met. I remembered when Robert was baptized there. And then Carolyn. I remembered my first Sunday teaching. And I remembered my last Sunday teaching.

Now, there are weeds growing up between the cracks in both parking lots. Now, we're lucky if the front lot fills up on Sunday morning. Now, we're lucky if Robert and Carolyn aren't the only students on a Sunday morning. We keep saying that we're a "new community." But I'm not really sure who we are anymore.

I've certainly changed a lot over these years, too. I no longer believe that big worship centers and overflowing parking lots necessarily make a great church. I think a great church is made of people who are completely devoted to loving God and loving their neighbors. I think a church can be any size and shape, as long as there are devoted followers of Christ living out their faith together in their everyday lives and working toward the mission that God has put before them.

Last night, eight of us in our small group sat around a patio table in a backyard and ate a great meal together. We laughed, we disagreed, and we shared struggles with real issues in our families and faith. Our kids played together. We shared communion together. We prayed together. It was good. Some of us have been together for years. We've watched couples become families with little ones who aren't so little anymore. Now we babysit for each other. Some of us work together. Some of us play together. I love those people. That's my community. And you know what? That's "church" for me.

A Testament of Devotion

Over the last several days, I've been re-reading A Testament of Devotion by Thomas R. Kelly. It has been a few years since I read it the first time, so it's been interesting to note the different things that have struck me this time. Still, though, this book will remain as one of my favorites of all time. It's beautifully written from a passionate and humble soul, completely devoted to God.

In the fourth of the five essays, Kelly speaks of the The Eternal Now (emphasis mine):

...time spreads itself out like a ribbon, stretching away from the now into the past, and forward from the now into the future, at the far end of which stands the New Jerusalem. In this ribbon of time we live, anxiously surveying the past in order to learn how to manage the most important part of the ribbon, the future. The now is merely an incidental dividing point, unstable, non-important, except as by its unstaying migration we move ahead into the richer meadows and the greener pastures of the future. This, I fear, is the all-too-familiar world of all too many religious men and women, when a deeper and a richer experience is possible.

He then writes about how God, the Divine Presence, "steals upon us," making all things new, and opens up a completely new dimension of life:

In the immediate experience of the Presence, the Now is no mere nodal point between the past and the future. It is the seat and region of the Divine Presence itself. No longer is the ribbon spread out with equal vividness before one, for the past matters less and the future matters less, for the Now contains all that is needed for the absolute satisfaction of our deepest cravings. Between the relinquished past and the untrodden future stands this holy Now, whose bulk has swelled to cosmic size, for within the Now is the dwelling place of God Himself. In the Now, we are at home at last.

Oh to be able to live every moment like this! To be able to feel the presence of God in all places in all times, to be at home with God in His dwelling place, this moment.

"Not doing the truth"

As I've said before, we are translating 1 John 1-3 in Greek. Verse 6 in chapter 1 uses an interesting form of the Greek verb ποιέω. A general-use translation of this verb is "I do" or "I make." But here is how it is used in verse 6:

Εαν ειπωμεν οτι κοινωνιαν εχομεν μετ αυτου και εν τω σκοτια περιπατωμεν, ψευδομεθα και ου ποιουμεν την αληθειαν·

(I intentionally left out all accents and breathing marks - they're too hard in this font.)
The straight translation is this:

If - we say - that - fellowship - we have - with - him - and - in - the - darkness - we live, - we are lying - and - not - we do - the - truth.

Or, maybe something like this:

If we say that we have fellowship with him (referring to Jesus) and yet we live in the darkness, we are lying and we are not doing the truth.

What an interesting way to say this! If we claim that we have fellowship or community with Jesus, and yet we continue to walk in the darkness, we are actually lying and not doing the truth. My BDAG lexicon has about 2 1/2 pages about ποιέω - it's actually a quite popular verb. Mounce says it's used 568 times! The generalized definition for ποιέω in BDAG says this:

A multivalent term, often without pointed semantic significance, used in reference to a broad range of activity involving such matters as bringing something into being, bringing something to pass, or simply interacting in some way with a variety of entities.

The specific BDAG reference to 1 John 1:6 says "do, practice, live the truth."

So, if we claim to follow Jesus but live a life that does not reflect that following, we're lying to ourselves and those around us, and we are not living truthful lives. We are not bringing about the truth of Jesus. We are, in a way, holding back the truth. We are not "doing" the truth.

Sacred Destinations

Have you seen this site? Some beautiful pictures are posted there of sacred places all over the world. You should definitely check it out. Here's an example:

Dove Mountain Hike

Robert, Taylor, and I went hiking this morning in the Dove Mountain area. We started out at the Wild Burro Trail Head, followed the Wild Burro trail for a while, took the Alamo Spring branch (by mistake), and ended up at the top of a small mountain. That was cool - but a little off-plan. We were initially going to take the Lower Javelina Loop, but somehow missed the trail marker for that one...

It was nice, a little warm, but nice. The only bad part was all of the bugs. We couldn't really find a good lunch spot (good = free of bugs), so we just waited until we got back to Taylor's house and ate on the patio looking up at where we had just hiked. Here are a few shots from the day:

Robert on a rock by a rather large saguaro

Taylor and Robert at the top of the small mountain

One of the 112 lizards we saw on the trail
(yes, Robert counted)

Ahhh sleep...

The world is so much brighter and clearer when you can sleep. Since my whining the other night at 3:04am, I have slept two nights with hardly any coughing! And this morning, for a couple of hours - are you ready - I even slept flat on my pillow! Yeah! Can you believe it?

I read once that sleeping each night is a little like dying. Not in a morbid way, but when we lay down, relax, and fall asleep, we are letting go of our alert state of being and surrendering ourselves into God's hands. Our bodies are at rest, and, in fact, much physical healing occurs when we sleep. Then, when we awake, it's a little like resurrection. Our bodies are refreshed (hopefully), and we have new energy and life to face what's ahead. I thought that was an interesting metaphor, but it makes some sense to me. I just wonder if when we die, will our life seem just like a dream? Will the next life be more real and alive than this one, so much so that this current life will seem like a distant memory? Even if it is, it's all we have right now. So we need to live it for all it's worth!

3:04am

Ok, I'm sitting in front of my laptop at 3:04am, coughing up a lung, tired, frustrated, eyes hurting, trying to be present in this "ordinary" moment of life.

It ain't working.

I just want to sleep. I just want to lay down and not cough. Just for a few hours. And I'm sure my wife would appreciate that as well. And the kids. And the dog. She stirred a little in her crate as I came downstairs, as if to say, "Don't come down here! I heard you loud and clear when you were up there!"

The neighbor's light just came on...I hope I didn't wake them...

I guess I'll try again to sleep...maybe it's back to the recliner...

Home again

Yesterday was a roaring success getting all of the new electronics hooked up for Mardie. Plus, we had another great dinner, this time at home with grilled shrimp, veggies, and crab legs. Yum! Flying home today in a beautifully clear sky over snow covered mountains was gorgeous. It didn't even feel that hot in Phoenix when we landed.

Now for reality...back to work tomorrow...

Oh what a dinner

So I arrived in Salt Lake City about midnight Thursday, slept through some coughing fits, and then awoke to a beautiful, clear, chilly Friday morning. Lots of snow still cover the mountains all around the valley here. And the view from Mardie's front window toward Mt. Olympus is spectacular! They took me to a great little Mexican place for lunch (yeah, it was good, even in Utah) where we had fish tacos, carnitas tacos, and carne asada tacos (with Dos Equis, of course).

Mardie had to go to a meeting at the University in the afternoon, so Mona and I went shopping! Three hours later, we had a new surround sound receiver, upconverting DVD player, universal remote, and a few other little goodies. When we picked up Mardie, she took us to the Red Butte Botanical Gardens at the University, which was pretty cool. The daffodils are starting to bloom, and the gardens were very nice. That would be a great place to get away from the busyness of life for a couple of hours, especially if you worked or went to school at the University.

Even though all of that made for quite a good day, we topped it off with a wonderful dining experience. We headed to The Gateway with plans to go to the Brazilian restaurant that we had found during the Olympics in 2002. Well, we found it easily enough, except that it said it was opening in a few months. Huh? We ate there 6 years ago! But, we were hungry and instead of trying to figure out what had happened, we headed to Flemings Prime Steakhouse and Wine Bar.

Oh my.

Without a doubt, this is one of the top five best dinners I've ever had. We were even sitting at the bar, because it was an hour wait for a table when we got there around 8:00pm. It didn't matter. It was...fantastic! And then, they began bringing us food.

Oh my.

I had the 22oz bone-in ribeye. Oh my. Mona had the Veal chop. Yum. Mardie had scallops. Probably the best scallops I've ever tasted (and Utah is a land-locked state!). Wine, hefeweizen, grilled asparagus, chipotle macaroni and cheese (this ain't your mama's mac-n-cheese!), and then...cheesecake. With blueberries. And chantilly cream. Oh my!

Honestly, we didn't want to leave. But it was 10:00pm, and we were getting pretty sleepy. Wow - what a meal.

So today, I'm the geek squad for Mardie, installing all the new stereo components, fixing the old ones that weren't connected properly, hanging speakers on walls, fun stuff like that. And, well, it's time to get started...

On the way to Utah

I complain a lot about Phoenix. In fact, if you live in Tucson, that's kinda expected. You know, things like, "Phoenix is so much hotter than Tucson!" or "Wow, the traffic is sooooo bad in Phoenix, much worse than Tucson!" or "ASwho?" (you know, instead of ASU) Anyway, I must admit that right now, I'm liking Phoenix - at least the airport anyway. Because I just had a pretty good Machaca burrito, I'm sitting at a little table with a power adapter and my grande non-fat chai from Starbucks, and I'm online on Sky Harbor's free wifi. It's still hotter than Tucson, and there's still more traffic, but at least I can get online for free while I wait for my delayed Salt Lake City flight.

Still coughing

The last few nights have been about the same as Saturday night. I lay down, I start coughing. So, sleep is something I'm beginning to get desperate for. Maybe tonight...

Tomorrow I go to Salt Lake City to visit Mona and Mardie. I come home on Sunday afternoon, hopefully a little better rested (but I will miss my family and my bed.)

Tired and voiceless

Allergies? A cold? Whatever it is, it has stolen most of my voice since Friday night. That's not a bad thing at all - I like being quiet. But, when the coughing started last night in bed, things went downhill. I found some prescription cough syrup from 2006, grabbed a couple of blankets, a glass of water, and ended up in the recliner downstairs for a most unrestful night. I climbed back into bed around 5:30 and caught up a little - before the coughing began again.

So here I sit in my new temporary bed (the recliner), surfing and pondering life on a Sunday morning when I'm usually at our church service. My daughter returned home this morning around 8:00 from a 3-day Disneyland field trip, so she is sleeping blissfully upstairs. My son and wife are at the service, today being the one Sunday a month when Kim helps in the nursery to get her "baby fix." The day looks absolutely beautiful, so I imagine I will venture outside at some point, but not yet.

I am facing a reading crisis, however, which was highlighted throughout the restless night. I'm on the last chapter of Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation, and I just recently finished Nouwen's Show Me the Way. And I don't have an unread Merton or Nouwen book on the shelf calling out my name. Help!

I've been reading a lot online lately, mostly missional church stuff here and here and expanding the blogs that my Google Reader updates for me. And, if you've been following my posts on my Greek class, it's obvious that I have some mind-stretching reading on the horizon. But I always like to have at least one book on the table, in my computer bag, or on the nightstand that speaks to my soul and gives me glimpses of God.

Any recommendations?

Speaking of poetry...

"For we are God's poetry..." (see this post)

I just noticed that a blog called Poem of the Week is one of Blogger's Blogs of Note. Check it out if you're curious about being a poem spoken by God...

This quarter in Greek

Well this 3rd and final quarter of Greek should be very interesting. We have a few more chapters in our beginning grammar to cover, more vocabulary to learn, as well as tackling some more advanced topics in our intermediate grammar.

Besides all of that, we will be translating 1 John 1-3 and each of us will pick a section from these chapters and write a 5-page exegetical paper on that section. For mine, I have chosen 1 John 3:11-18, primarily because 1 John 3:18 is one of my favorite verses (in bold below). Here's the NIV version:

This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

So it will be quite the fun and challenging quarter. But I look forward to truly diving into this...

Something cool in Greek

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Eph 2:10)

Dane pointed out something very cool about this verse last night. The first part of this verse in Greek is αυτου γαρ εσμεν ποιημα, which literally translated means "His for we are workmanship" or "For we are his workmanship."

Two things are interesting here. First is the placement of "his" as the first word. This is emphatic positioning, emphasizing that first and foremost, we are "his."

Secondly, the 4th Greek word, pronounced "poi-ee-ma," is frequently translated as "workmanship" (NIV, NASB, KJV, NKJV, ESV) along with "handiwork" (Amplifed), and "masterpiece" (NLT). But, what English word does this sound like?

Poem.

So, in a sense, we are God's poetry. To me, words like "workmanship" or "handiwork" sound more like something made by a worker. Poetry, on the other hand, is something beautiful spoken by an artist.

The next time you feel down on yourself, remember that you are God's poetry, beautifully spoken into existence by the artistic Creator of the universe.

Cool, huh?